Steaming dung
I can’t believe the size and stench of the heap of crap I found myself stuck in last night.
I’ve been playing Hellgate: London on and off since my last post; getting some hack and slash time in whenever the server decided I was fit to connect. My evoker is level 18 now, and I’m questing from the safety of Temple Station.
I haven’t really been paying much attention to the dialogue for a while. There was some marginally intriquing plot development going on about 5 or so levels back involving enigmatic seers, but that’s all been forgotten because of an apparently apocalyptic (as if an invasion of demons who are immune to conventional weaponry wasn’t apocalyptic enough) infestation of boils, slimy sacs of demon-spawning goo.
The order of business last night was to do away with a gargantuan mothership called the Exospector, the source of the purulent plague. In order to reach the battle, I had to make my way through a couple more generic randomly generated areas blighted by the usual zombies, floating eyes, leaping lizard things and flying creatures intent on pecking out my eyes and feasting on my genitals. There were a few larger monsters, that I suppose could be classified as demi-bosses, that spiced things up a bit.
After all that moderately joyous destruction I was looking forward to a satisfyingly epic boss fight. Unfortunately it was not to be. Flagship Studios let me down once again; and this time, the let-down was catastrophic. The showdown consisted of me, on my own, manning an emplacement rocket launcher and repeatedly launching salvos at the stationary Exospector: a challenge that might have been bearable if the salvos did a decent amount of damage. As it turned out, I had to stay at the launcher for what must have been at least ten minutes before the big bastard finally ceased to exist.
The gameplay mechanic was simplistic to say the least: fire salvo, wait five seconds, fire salvo, wait five seconds, rinse and repeat five hundred times. There was no hint of excitement; not the slightest whiff of drama. I felt like I had been tricked. If someone had asked me if I had wanted to endure this arse beforehand, I certainly would’ve turned them down. I had been lured, and I resented it. I didn’t even get a bloody explosion at the end; the thing just phased away like a disappearing ghost.
Nevertheless, I shall plod on. At least it’s over with. I didn’t get disconnected half way through and have to start over again. For that mercy I am most grateful.
- Chris
